Tuesday, March 3, 2020

A working mother's wonders and prayers

I could still vividly remember the very day, some 10 years ago, my ex-boss asked me what's my future goal during a chat. "I want to be a mother", I replied him honestly. I must be out of my mind. Thankfully, I didn't mark the end of my career then. I went on to work a couple more years with him at 2 companies and learnt alot from him and many other bosses.

Now with 2 lovely daughters, I'm thankful to have "achieve" my goal (while still working on my career). But that's not all. I learnt along the way that the journey as a mother has no real ending. There are different seasons of life, some more physically tiring than others, some more mentally draining than most. There are so many things to do and learn yet there are no one way to do parenting. There are many what ifs and only if but there are also many times I'm glad I did this. Indeed, parenthood is such a roller coasting journey and I often ponder how and what I should do best as a mother.

As a sandwich generation, it seems like being a full time working mother is what I've to do now to make a living and support my parents. Nevertheless, I often wish I could work lesser so that I could spend more time on the girls. Given that "success is not guaranteed for any fixed way of parenting", I know that I need to be contented, just do my best in whatever roles God has given me and leave the rest in God's hands.

No doubt, it can sometimes be hard because it's never good enough and we want the best for our children right? It's hard because we are fearful of regrets and failures. It's hard because we see others having them all. It's hard because there are so many temptations. Even as I'm writing this, I'm not sure if I'm able to say that I'm 100% happy and contented with my current life. I'm definitely not unhappy but there are just many things that could be better. 

Last Sunday, I was reminded that we don't live just to enjoy and satisfy our dreams and goals, we live to fulfil God's plans for us - even when it is not what we want. We live to glorify and testify God.

What's God's plan? Am I fulfilling God's plan for me? We would never understand God's purpose and plan for us in life fully, but God will lead us step by step when we seek, ask and knock at the door. And, that's faith. Instead of having me telling God what I want to do and pray for his blessings, I want to learn to pray for his will to be revealed and that he could bless me in order to glorify and testify him.

Whether is it working mother, mompreneur or stay home mother with help or always solo parent, I pray that I could be a women after God's heart and fulfilling his plans for me. At the end of the journey, I want to be able to say "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

To all fellow mummies and Sisters-in-Christ, let's press on and cheer each other on! 

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