Journey of Grace II

At 34 years old, I found out from Circledna test that I'm a carrier of pendred syndrome, a genetic disorder that causes early hearing loss in children. 

It wasn't a surprise since both of parents had lost their hearing on one side since young and it's very likely that at least one of my parents have Pendred Syndrome. We were told that they lost their hearing after they fell sick so it never cross my mind that it could be genetic. They rely on one hear and speak in limited dialect since it was obviously hard for them to get by school in the past. 

I always thought it wasn't a wise idea on my grandparents' part to matchmake both of them. They should get someone at least without hearing disabilities to make their life better right? How are they going to take care of 2 children? Whatever can go wrong, could go wrong. And now, we know that their children even have a risk to get pendred syndrome. It was challenging but they hold on to each other and pulled it through together. Looking back, they are made for each other. It's Him who brings my mother all the way from Indonesia to Singapore and matchmake them.  

When I was young, I wish that they could be "normal" and we were more well to do. I wish we would be able to communicate better. But as I grew up, I slowly see how they are fearfully and wonderfully made, and deeply loved by God despite their hearing disabilities. They can't express their love in beautiful words but I could hear their love loud and clear. Life wasn't easy and was very CRAZY at some point of time. But God has been extra gracious and watching over our family.  If it's not by God's protection, my brother and I wouldn't be what we are now.

 

After learning that I'm a carrier of pendred syndrome, I'm even more thankful for God's protection over my brother and I. His love is bigger than I had imagine. He didn't just watch over our family after I got to know him when I was 14 years old. He watched over us before we were born. He watched over my parents when they were young. He blessed me with a husband of good health (at least not another pendred syndrome carrier) and allowed me to bring 2 healthy girls to this world. He loves and watches after us generations after generations. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalms 139: 14  

 *******

We are all God's wonderful masterpiece. I thank God for loving us. He loves and walks with us through ups and downs even before we know him, when we didn't feel close to him or even run away from him. He will make things beautiful in his time. May the Lord continue to bless us and keep us. 

 

To you who finish this post, thank you for taking your precious time to read this. Before you leave this page, I want you to know that God loves you too and may you get to know him more.

For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only Son,
that whoever believes in him
should not perish but have eternal life.
- John 3:16

All in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Journey (of Education) Less Traveled

After 15 years of education, I finally finished my A'level examination and was all ready to embark on a different phase of my life. While waiting for results, I took up a part-time job to earn some extra pocket money. It was also the time when I get to know my dearest husband in end 2005.

The results were out and I was very happy with it. Not straight As but close enough. However, I wasn't sure what major to take. As a Science student, I enjoy learning about Science but I was sure that I don't want to work in field related to Science. I didn't know what other non-Science major to take. Maybe I wasn't attentive to the school fairs and such. I was really lost. Standing at crossroad, I decided to postpone my degree by a year and figure out my interest. I also didn't want to add more financial burden to my parents.

I'm sure I had given my parents a hard shocking time when I told them that I wanted to defer my degree. I was a hard-working student and that would be the last thing on their mind to hear from me. My friends can't believed it. I can't believe myself too.

1 year of wait turned into many more years as I enjoyed the ability to earn some form of income. I took up a full time job in 2007 and completed a one year part-time diploma in 2009. I'm not even sure why I didn't think of taking a part-time degree. Perhaps still worried about the school fees. After I finished my diploma, I was ready to continue my degree. My then boyfriend of 3 years thought it was time to settle down with him before I take up a 3 year long part-time degree. I suspect he was worried that I won't marry him if he were to wait any longer. And of course I said Yes! to him and we tied knot in 2010 at 22 years old.

After all the wedding preparations and honeymoon, I finally applied for Unisim (now SUSS) and its scholarship in 2010. At the scholarship interview, I did well until they asked why didn't I go to local university. I got emotional and cried in front of the panel. The 4 years at the workforce was amazing but it felt like an unfinished business and I just have to finish my degree. 

By God's grace, I was awarded the scholarship! The scholarship doesn't come with any bond but I need to achieve a GPA of 4 out of 5. I wasn't sure if I could do it but I decided to go for it. I know God hears my worries and answered my prayers. I prayed and asked God to help me through. 

It was tough to be working full time and studying by night. But God gave me the extra strength & wisdom, very supportive husband and family. He also granted me 2 very nice bosses whom I'm still grateful to until today. 

It became more stressful when we decided to try for baby in 2011 but we found out that I had PCOS. In 2012, we went through TCM treatment for 10 months. We took a break from treatment because it was so stressful and I finally conceive in Dec 2012. I studied through pregnancy, took a semester off and finally finish my degree in 2014 before Emma turned 1 year old! With my degree, I joined my current company and is still thankful for the various opportunities I get at work.

I know it's God's blessings. I can't do it all by myself. 

I tried to do it my own way by jumping into work right after A'level. But, God made it right by giving me a scholarship WITHOUT any bond and my Mr Right when I keep hanging on to him. It wasn't one of my strong faith moment but he never gives up on me. He shows me that he can straighten things up even though I could have mess up. I thank God for always putting us back on track back to his plan. God always make things beautiful in his times.

I ended up finishing my degree at 27 years old instead of 21 years old. I never regret making my decision because I get to know my husband and have two precious daughters. But, I feel really bad making my parents (especially my mum) and relatives worried. More worse after I became a mum myself. I don't know how I could handle it if the girls were to do such things to me in the future.

I don't know how things would unfold if I were to go NUS or NTU for some science or social sciences degree. But, I know God has his perfect plan for me and has always been there with me. With the same kind of faith, I know he will always be with the girls and walk with them. I can't do parenting without Him being in our life. I don't know what lies ahead but I know God has his perfect plan and will always walk us through.

Blessed Cross Decor from Shopkustomise

On deeper thoughts, I realised that this is the period of university admission where most students should have submitted their application and waiting for admission results in May. If you happen to be reading this, I'm not asking you to defer your studies ok! Pray about it, Go for it! But, I just want to share that God has different paths for everyone and he will make things beautiful in his own time. And my story happened to be out of the norm one. 

With my little voice here, I pray that you will get to know God personally and experience all the amazing works in your life. 

With love,

Ashlyn 

Thank God! It's Tuberculosis!

What started off as a simple sore throat turned out otherwise. After battling cough, bloated stomach, diaherrea and fatigue for 3 weeks, I finally managed to get a referral to specialist on my 2nd visit to polyclinic. My appointment was supposed to be a week later but I can't make it so requested for a reschedule. Thank God for his protection, I got a next day appointment at the specialist clinic as there was last minute cancellation. Doctor gave me a number of blood test, ECG, urine test and x ray. The x ray result turned out bad and he called me to admit to the hospital that Wednesday night.  

After settling dinner and some chores, I bid the family goodbye and headed to NUH to admit myself. Everything happened so fast after I registered. I was inserted iv plug and quickly put to a series of examinations and ultrasound. The earlier x ray result shows that my left lung was 80% filled with fluid and due the expansion of my lung, my heart was pushed to the right and slightly twisted. I had to do a procedure to insert a draining tube to drain the fluid at the A&E. The procedure was traumatising. I was given local anesthesia and some painkiller injection but it was still very painful. I could feel the doctor poking the tube to the side of my left chest and I cried so badly throughout the 15 mins.

After the insertion of the chest tube, I was sent to an isolation ward because I was considered a possible contagious case. I was eventually tested negative for Covid-19. I also did the tuberculosis phlegm test which came back negative. 

Although the insertion was a horrible experience, I felt less breathless after the drainage. My heartbeat rate also reduced. I feel physically better. The first few days were all about draining my fluid from my left lung. The fluid was sent for testing to identify the cause of all these and it took days for the results to be out. I was given antibiotics and painkillers. 

It was worrying as the draining was blocked half way. But thankful, it continued to drain after the doctor did a flush. 

But guess the most worrying part is the cause of having fluid in my lung. The word "Cancer" popped up right at the first call to get me admit to hospital. Doctor didn't know why and it could be because of infection, pneumonia, tuberculosis or worst case cancer. The CT scan also showed that I've something at my ovary but it wasn't a big surprise as I've PCOS. I was arrange to see a gynae after I discharge. All I could do is to pray and ask people around to pray for me. 

I was deisolated for a day and went back to isolation in negative pressure isolation ward because they found TB in my fluid. On Monday morning, I did a procedure to drain the fluid and get sample for biopsy. Doctor said it's very likely TB.

I was given local anesthesia (alot more) and painkiller so was awake throughout the hr plus. The professor did her work behind a green screen. I could feel many pokes but mostly pressure and suction. I could hear the professor saying to the junior doctor, don't think it's an easy thing, it's very complicated. I was taken aback and kept praying throughout that hr plus. It was yet another traumatising experience. Thankfully things went well.

I came back to the ward feeling ok until suddenly I couldn't catch my breathe for a few minutes when I tried to sit up. I got better but was weak the rest of the afternoon. My chest tube was replaced with a bigger one and attached to a suction machine. Dr came back to check on me and shared that the good news is it was Tuberculosis. There was no signs of cancer. It was a great relief as I'm still young and it is curable. I was given TB medications - alot of them. And need to take them for 6 months. 

After 7 nights at the hospital, about 3 litre of fluid out of my left lung, multiple scans, alot of prayers, I'm finally back at home. I thank God for his protection. I could have found out my Tuberculosis much later and things might be worst. I had to go through all diagnosis and treatment alone. Honestly, I was really scared but I could only just pray for courage and strength. I was much alone but God is always there for me to hold me through. 

Hubby had been really great at taking care of the kids since the start when I got sick a month back and even helped to deliver food at last minute because the food at the hospital was horrible. With his new dishwasher purchase, he can run the household except cooking.

Thankful to many who pray for me over whatapps, videocalls and keep checking on me. Bosses and colleagues have been very understanding towards my conditions too. So glad that my parents who didn't really know the full story managed to visit and asked me to pray to Jesus. Daddy even came with 2 photos of Jesus. I'm thankful that they have Jesus in their hearts.

Thankful that my condition wasn't contagious as the TB virus was on the lining of my lung. Thus family should be safe. It wonder how lucky am I to get this as it's not easy to get TB. Anyway, if you are coughing for more than 3 weeks and have breathless, do see a doctor.

Stay safe all! 

 

7 Things The Bible Says About Parenting

10 weeks of staying home to fight Covid-19 makes me slow down, think and reflect more. Even though I'm quite a thinker, I'm more of an Executor. I often find myself in a state of doing and not having enough time and energy to think. One month ago, I joined my girlfriend in her devotion plan and it has to be one of the best thing that had taken place during the Circuit Breaker. Together with 2 others, we are on our 4th plan and it has been amazing!

 
This coming 7 years of parenthood has been a joyful, meaningful and faithful journey. However, it comes with its set of challenges, worries and doubt. I see more weaknesses, limitations and fears in myself. Motherhood has became a huge part of my life and it is often draining. As I reflect more, it felt that I've been living one day after another with just enough faith and I always deplete it by the end of the day. I seek God but didn't seek enough to get excess faith to grow. Yes, I'm not that strong - without God's power and grace to pull me through, I won't be able to juggle everything like now.

I know it's time for me to seek more fervently and grow.

The devotion plans and sharing from/with my girlfriends have been so helpful that I wish that I can remember them better by writing them down in a post. Below, I summarised the "7 things the Bible says about Parenting" from YouVersion but I encourage you to go through the full devotion plan as I only capture my personal learning points. It also helps to take time to think and pray about them. 

A working mother's wonders and prayers

I could still vividly remember the very day, some 10 years ago, my ex-boss asked me what's my future goal during a chat. "I want to be a mother", I replied him honestly. I must be out of my mind. Thankfully, I didn't mark the end of my career then. I went on to work a couple more years with him at 2 companies and learnt alot from him and many other bosses.

Now with 2 lovely daughters, I'm thankful to have "achieve" my goal (while still working on my career). But that's not all. I learnt along the way that the journey as a mother has no real ending. There are different seasons of life, some more physically tiring than others, some more mentally draining than most. There are so many things to do and learn yet there are no one way to do parenting. There are many what ifs and only if but there are also many times I'm glad I did this. Indeed, parenthood is such a roller coasting journey and I often ponder how and what I should do best as a mother.

As a sandwich generation, it seems like being a full time working mother is what I've to do now to make a living and support my parents. Nevertheless, I often wish I could work lesser so that I could spend more time on the girls. Given that "success is not guaranteed for any fixed way of parenting", I know that I need to be contented, just do my best in whatever roles God has given me and leave the rest in God's hands.

No doubt, it can sometimes be hard because it's never good enough and we want the best for our children right? It's hard because we are fearful of regrets and failures. It's hard because we see others having them all. It's hard because there are so many temptations. Even as I'm writing this, I'm not sure if I'm able to say that I'm 100% happy and contented with my current life. I'm definitely not unhappy but there are just many things that could be better. 

Last Sunday, I was reminded that we don't live just to enjoy and satisfy our dreams and goals, we live to fulfil God's plans for us - even when it is not what we want. We live to glorify and testify God.

What's God's plan? Am I fulfilling God's plan for me? We would never understand God's purpose and plan for us in life fully, but God will lead us step by step when we seek, ask and knock at the door. And, that's faith. Instead of having me telling God what I want to do and pray for his blessings, I want to learn to pray for his will to be revealed and that he could bless me in order to glorify and testify him.

Whether is it working mother, mompreneur or stay home mother with help or always solo parent, I pray that I could be a women after God's heart and fulfilling his plans for me. At the end of the journey, I want to be able to say "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

To all fellow mummies and Sisters-in-Christ, let's press on and cheer each other on! 

#thomashlyns turned 10!

February is a month of love - Valentine's Day and most importantly, our Dating & Wedding anniversary!

To celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary this year, we took a walk down our memory lane with a fun drive and shoot at important places of our dating, marriage and parenting life! I have always dream to wear another wedding gown at our 10th wedding anniversary and I thought a family photoshoot would be lovely. However, Hubby didn't want to just have a usual photoshoot. Together, we came up with this bigger idea to shoot with more meanings.

*****

We first met at a job interview in 2005. He was my manager and I was looking out for part-time job right after A'level. After almost 4 years, Hubby reminded me that we actually first chatted on Friendster (the old Facebook) in 2004 and I totally forgot about it. Hubby even managed to do a screenshot of our chat.

. 

Through our 4 years of courtship, we watched countless movies! The first movie before we started dating was Saw 2. Sounds like a prefect first date? Honestly, we can't remember which is the first theater we went but Cineleisure is definitely one that we frequented! A fun fact - Hubby kept all the movie tickets till now!

 

My not-so-romantic ex-boyfriend actually managed to come up with a surprise wedding proposal. And, of course, I said "Yes!".

  

No matter better place for us to vow to each other. Like what our Reverand has shared, marriage is not just between the both of us. It's God who hold us together.

 

Here's where we celebrated our love since our wedding and beyond!

 

I asked Hubby what best represents our honeymoon and he said "Do Do Bird". So thankful to be able to explore the world together! Looking forward to more holidays!

 

We had our first key a year after we were married! When staying there, I gave birth to Emma, finished my degree and landed at a job that I'm still in now.

It took me almost 2 years - many acupuncture treatments and TCM to conceive Emmalyn and another 4 years to have our rainbow baby, Avalyn. Indeed, God makes all things beautiful in his time!

We moved in to our 2nd home when Avalyn was just a few months old but she's such a big girl now!

No surprise, we had our 2 lightbulbs with us for our wedding anniversary dinner! To them, it's the teddy bears' place!

I'm thankful for how God has brought us together and keep us going ever since. These 10 snapshots represented our journey of faith, love and milestones. It wasn't a journey without challenges. In fact, it was a journey full of challenges but we walked them through because of lots of God's grace! I pray that we will continue to grow and shine as a couple and family for the Lord in the decades to come!

To my dearest hubby, thank you for your love and patience over the past 14 years. Life with you is full ups and downs. You opened up my eyes, my heart and my mind in ways one could never imagine. Looking forward to growing old with you and being silly all over again!

To our lovely daughters, thank you for bringing so much joy to our life. Because of both of you, we are overcoming our weaknesses and learning to be better versions of ourselves.

To our dear family and friends, thank you for loving our rather quiet but sometimes wild family. Please know we are thinking of you more than you think!

Thank you my dearest brother for helping us with the print designs; and Rev Wee for granting us access to the church and praying for us. Thank you @toddleythoughts for making our day alot more special with the customised family tees!

Somewhere over the rainbow...

Every picture tells a story, and this is ours.



Not a perfect life I want to depict, but part of my life story that I really love to share.

The story behind our rainbow baby, Avalyn

Why did this happen to me?

Was it something that I've done/eaten?

Was I too stressed up?

Why did God send you to me in the first place and take you away so quickly?

How would life be with you around?

It has been 16 months since we have lost our 2nd baby, baby M, and I still ask myself these questions from time to time. I miss her badly and Baby M will always hold a special place in my heart.

Baby M's journey

We first saw her little heart beating on the ultrasound when she was 5 weeks and 1 day old. At 10 weeks and 2 days, the doctor couldn't find her heartbeat and she was measured 9 weeks and 2 days old. I had a missed miscarriage. After a 2nd ultrasound scan, I had a dilation and curettage (D&C) on 3 Mar 2016 and a 7 days of confinement.

In between the 2 ultrasounds, I was feeling tired, unwell and had very serious backache. I didn't have any morning sickness but I felt nausea and bloated all the time. It was difficult to cope with pregnancy and then 2 years 5 months Emma as I felt like sleeping after work all time. Somehow I felt very stressed up knowing what was coming up ahead. Yet, I was very looking forward to holding her in my arms.

My dream to be a mother of 2

Many times, I rejoiced and secretly envied at friends' new bundle of joy. I wondered how great it would be for Emma to have a little brother or sister to play along. I knew that I long for another child but I'm already very thankful to have Emma in our life. Given my previous PCOS condition, having another child is surely just another dream. I wasn't pinning very high hope to conceive another baby and just entrusted God to work out if he likes to help us with another one. So, it was like a dream come true to be expecting baby M.

Lesson of Faith

But, it didn't last long. I was devastated to lose something so precious to me. It was too much for my heart to bear. I spent the next few days crying myself to sleep and reading up miscarriages. I couldn't understand.

I prayed and asked close ones to pray for us. Then, I read something that spoke to me. I was reminded that our babies don't belong to us. God is their Heavenly Father and we, parents, are just their parents on Earth. I know, it was easier said then done. But, I shouldn't be wronged to hand baby M to God as she's his child to begin with. Deep down my troubled heart, I knew he was teaching to trust him more, to seek him more fervently and be a testimony to people around me. I couldn't do anything else but to pray for strength and faith to walk it though.

God makes all things beautiful in his time

Then, I found out that I was pregnant again in Oct 2016. Praise the Lord! I did a count and it looked like I had conceived around the day, if not the same day, that Baby M was supposed to be due - 27 Sept 2016.

Indeed, God makes all things beautiful in his time - a perfect time. As I closed a despairing chapter of my life, God brought me into a fresh and hopeful new chapter. After 36 weeks and 2 days, our family welcomed our rainbow baby, Avalyn, on 17 May 2017. Having a third baby is God's grace and blessing, and we give thanks to God.

It was a relatively smooth and manageable pregnancy so we had expected things to be going really well. However, Avalyn was born smaller than expected at 2.28 kg and 45cm. I was so worried but at the same time, I learnt to trust God more to take care of this baby that he has blessed us with. At 7 weeks, we are thankful that she is growing well - weighed 3.85 kg and 52.5cm.

His plan is always greater and beautiful than ours

Everyone has a different story to tell. Don't be despair if you feel that God isn't answering to your prayers and desires. I had and have many "Dear God, are you there?" moments too. Keep your faith, seek and wait on him patiently. He's definitely on it.

God has a reason for allowing things, even bad things, to happen. We may never ever understand His wisdom but we simply have to trust His will. Psalms 37.5. God's plan for us is always greater and more beautiful than ours. He makes all things beautiful in his time. Ecclesiastes 3:11.

In the end, the only reason we can stand and smile through all problems and pain is because we know we have God on our side and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.

My prayer

Dear God,

Thank you for all the good and bad time.

Thank you for letting me be a mother of 3 in your special way. While I could only mother 2 of them, I know Baby M is in a better place with you. I praise for your marvelous work in my life and it's my blessing to be able to share my story to friends and readers of this humble blog. I pray that my sharing will touch more lives and help them to know you better.

May you continue to watch over our family and let us keep shining for you.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen

Day in A Life: How we spend our Sunday?

Rise & Shine!

7am: It was Sunday! Following a fulfilling Saturday at Legoland, we had a harder time crawling out of the beds. Nonetheless, we made it with the help of Emma, our trusty alarm clock.

Do not be anxious about your life

With several upcoming decisions and changes to be made, life has been as exciting and troubling as it can be for the past months. Every time I got worked up and anxious, little reminders popped up.
  

Don't worry, things will be fine

God is in control

God has his perfect plan

God will guide

Remember how God watched over the last time?

Yes, I know all these deep in my heart. But, how challenging it can be to have 100% faith at all times and leave all things in the hands of the Lord. Then, I was assured and touched by Luke 12 and Matthew 6.

Managing Failure: Learn and grow

In this current world, expectations are flying higher than ever. Children are to excel in studies, music, sports and the list goes on. Grown ups are to work hard, climb up career ladders, travel the world, own nice houses and cars, and take care of their family. Dream wedding, luxury honeymoon, beautifully curated parties and so much more. Top-notch and continuously improving products and services to meet the growing needs. And, I'm probably guilty to have high expectations of some listed above as well.

Our Journey of Grace

I'm blessed with loving parents who always put my brother and I before them. They aren't good at expressing their love in words but their actions speak volume.

31 months into motherhood, I've learnt how to appreciate my parents more and finally have a glimpse of what they have been through. However, it's more challenging for them as compared to us (Hubby & I) due to their hearing disabilities and limitations. 

Last year was nothing short of a drama but full of amazing grace.

He makes all things beautiful in his time

God said: "If you never felt pain, how would you know I'm a healer. If you never felt sadness, how would you know I'm a comforter?"

God hears every unspoken word, sees every unseen wound, mends every unbearable pain. Have faith and be strong.

The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18. God will mend a broken heart if you give him all the pieces. As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend, I brought my broken dreams to God because He is my God. But then, instead of leaving Him in peace to work alone, I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own. At last, I snatched them back and cried "How could you be so slow?" "My child", He said, "What could I do? You never did let go." Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 17:28.

God turns broken pieces into masterpieces! He has a reason for allowing things to happen. We may never ever understand His wisdom but we simply have to trust His will. Psalms 37.5. God's plan for us is always greater and more beautiful than ours. He makes all things beautiful in his time. Ecclesiastes 3:11.

In the end, the only reason we can stand and smile through all problems and pain is because we know we have God on our side and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.

Thank you dear family and friends for being there and walking us through with love and prayers. Your presence and words meant lots to us.

While we (I) aren't ready to share what exactly has happened over here, I just need to write this down and remind myself of God's promises. Please pray for extra faith, peace and joy to be with our family. May this short note also brings comfort to any of you who are going through any troubling moment. Hang on and God will make all things beautiful in his time! 

Dear God,

I thank you for all the showers of blessings and passing of hardships. I may not understand how everything will work out, but I trust you. I don't see a way, but I know you will make a way. I have faith at this very moment you are touching hearts, opening doors, and lining up the right breaks and right opportunities. God I know it is your plan, just help me through it. Things may look dark and bleak, but I have faith that my dawn is coming!

In Jesus Name. Amen.

5 Lessons I learnt from Wall of Jericho

For the past 7 weeks, my family had been running between 2 churches on alternate Sunday and missed a Sunday Service as we went for a short holiday together. My brother and I took turns to accompany my parents, and it might go on for some time. While things seems pretty unsettling, I'm thankful for the many strong messages directed and support rendered to me over the past 2 short months. I love to share more but when it comes to the recent incident, it seems pretty difficult to put things in words.

So, I'm sharing one of the more light hearted story and some lessons that I've learnt. :)

Last Sunday, the topic for the children sunday school class was "the wall of Jericho" - Joshua 6:1-27. The Sunday school teacher told the story in an engaging way and the kids encircled the "city", blew the horns and shouted before it collapsed in the classroom. They did art crafts - a Jericho city hat and paper trumpet, and ended off with some hearty snacks.

After service, I went back for an early nap as I wasn't feeling well and Hubby took care of Emma. While trying to sleep, I reflected on what we had just learnt and went to read more about it. I realised I had never taught a class about this story and there are actually so much to learn.

1. God works in his way

Who would have thought that encircling the Jericho city for 7 days would be the way leading to victory? It seems a crazy plan to attack that massive walls but that's how God works in our life at times. Unlike how man would do it, God has his plan and wants us to do it his way. He works in perfect timing and we need to trust that he is at work even though we might not feel so.

2. Have simple faith

It is easy to question God's way as it might not seems to work in our eyes. We do our research, gather all the information, weigh the pros and cons before we coming to a conclusion based on our analysis and judgement. Joshua taught us to have simple faith. We don't have to throw away our rationality but to remember that God works in the most unexpected way at times.

3. Act in obedience

We can't stop at believing. We need to act and act in obedience like how Joshua had did. God blesses us in many ways even without us doing anything but it doesn't mean that we need not play our part. Instead, we just need to do our part and leave the rest to God. On the other hand, how many times do we act without the right attitude? As we do what asked of us, we challenged God and grumbled at how things aren't going according to our way. Acting in obedience is certainly one important thing that we need to exercise and practise continuously.

4. Persevere on

I can't help but to think about what was going through the minds of Joshua and the soldier. There might be doubts if God's plan would work, exhaustion and thoughts of giving up. Life is a lot like the 7 days, or perhaps a 70 years, of encircling, we need to learn to persevere and not give up on our faith and hope in God. Many times, the wait is longer than we expected. However, the good news is we do not do it by ourselves. God is always generous with empowering and strengthening us. We just need to seek and ask.

5. God keeps his promises

Men fail and forget but God never. He always keeps his promises. The wall of Jericho collapsed at the 7th day and it's was a victory as promised. There might be challenges in our life that are as sturdy and unbeatable as the Jericho wall, but we can trust God to help us just by our faith and obedience. His promises are plenty and let's hold tight to them.

These are my personal reflection and is probably not complete. What other lessons do you learnt? Share with me!! :D

There are walls of Jericho in our lives which can only be destroyed by obeying his word, marching on his footsteps, blowing the trumpets about his glory and shouting about his soon coming - Sinu Chanza.

十架犧牲的愛

耶穌捨身十架，主你為我犧牲。

誠然擔起我的憂患，背負我的痛苦。

Embracing Motherhood

"Motherhood takes the strength of Samson, the wisdom of Solomon, the patience of Job, the faith of Abraham, the insight of Daniel and the courage of David!" 

And as I looked into myself, I often wonder what have I got behind that smile on my face.

15 things I will do differently in 2015

A pink pebble out, an orange rock in. But, wait what about this white stone?

I ended off the year with a sharing on my rocky life, how the rocks have helped me and some of the many rocks I would like to work on.

My Rocky Life 2014

I am not the neatest nor a messy one around but I like to keep my thoughts as organized as I could and writing is one of the way to structure my thoughts. Few years back, I was inspired by a video (similar one here) that talked about putting the big rocks before small stones in life and I decided to give it a try. It has been a few years since I adopt the approach and it has been pretty useful. As we usher the new year, I wish that this sharing will help you in some way too.

The Christmas Star

 Greetings from the Ng Family - We wish you all a blessed and merry Christmas!!

 

It's God's gift :)

This post has been sitting in my draft for almost a year and I think I shouldn't wait any longer to share my journey with all. Here's why Emmalyn is a gift from God.   

***

We always believe that God has his plan and time for us to have a baby. We prayed about it through the years and waited patiently.

I started my degree programme almost 6 months after our wedding in Jul 2010 and targeted to complete my course in Jul 2013. However, we thought to leave it to God and if we have one before I graduate, we will also be ready to welcome our new addition.

In late 2010, I found out that I have a condition called PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). Such condition happens when one’s ovaries do not ovulate regularly and it makes conception more difficult. I was very worried that I would never be able to have a baby naturally but doctor has advised that since I was still young I should just try before considering other options using medications. It is the beginning to the test of our faith and I choose to believe that God will grant me one at the perfect timing according to his will.

In early 2012, I started to see a Chinese doctor who specialises in fertility. He gave acupuncture and Chinese medicines to improve fertility. He is very popular and it is always difficult to secure appointments. Hence, I stopped seeing him in Oct as school has been busy and I decided to take a break from trying to conceive.

In Dec 2012, Hubby asked our cell group to pray for our baby planning as I was to graduate in Jul 13, nothing too specific, during a sharing at church retreat. It was unexpected to hear from him but, anyway, our cell members prayed for us.

Dec was a busy month with all joyous celebrations and I didn’t notice that any symptoms of pregnancy until I felt nausea on 30 Dec. At the first moment, I thought that I didn’t sleep well the day before Dawn & Xu Wen's wedding but later on I began to feel suspicious. After countless disappointments, I didn’t dare to put my hopes high and decided to wait another day till 1 Jan to do a pregnancy test.

I tested using the pregnancy test kit secretly and saw two lines with one that was rather faded. I couldn’t believe my eyes so I decided to have another test about 30 mins later. This time round, the lines were so clear and I anxiously called for Hubby. I was in mixed feelings – happy and unexpected. It’s totally God’s gift. I conceived few days after that faithful prayer! God gives when we opened up our heart to ask him and he gives at his perfect time.

I was contemplating whether to share our little journey but I thought that the glory of God should not be hidden. This pregnancy and parenthood is not just about having another little one, but it is another journey where we experience God's love, learn to have faith in him and walk with him.

Hence so, keep the faith and ASAP - always say a prayer!

“ Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” – Matthew 7: 7-8